Resolute

Five months is pretty decent right? Before completely giving up on New Year's goals and resolutions? Not to say I've given up, but I've been distracted.

I think I have a strange type of long-form ADD. I don't get distracted or lose my attention span very quickly, but rather over the course of a few months. Looking at my writing files, they were last accessed on March 24. That's literally two months ago. I own six guitars. Yup, six. I'm looking at three of them in my office right now. Haven't played one yet in 2017. There are books to be read and movies to be watched, other instruments to be played and software to record it with. I bought a new tablet specifically for Rosetta Stone because my current computer is too outdated. My last Spanish lesson? February? Maybe? I honestly don't remember. 

I am rich and spoiled in possessions. Because of that, I seem to be fickle with my affections. Every night for the first four months of the year I was at this desk. I planned out weekly posts to write about here, I had three screenplays on the go, there was the magazine article, stand-up jokes, short scene scripts, so many things on the go. I finished a few. And now they sit. "Work is distracting you," some may say, "that's what happens when you start a new job." Sure. I guess. But it's probably more than that. Yes, I really like my new job and yes I'm there a lot. But it's more than being there for face value. These are my friends, I want them to succeed. Besides, I worked just as much at my last job. 

What else, then? It seems odd that all of a sudden: nothing. It's like Seasonal Affective Disorder came five months late. Maybe I burned myself out? Too much on the go. "Writing multiple stories at the same time overwhelmed your brain, you should focus on one at a time." Truth to that I'm sure, but I've never really worked like that. It's always been multiple projects on the go. Distract myself with other work rather than nothingness. 

Who knows? Maybe it's been all the rain of late. Maybe it's the prospect of sunny days ahead. Something yet again has stolen my mind and hid it from me, only to turn up a few weeks from now behind the couch. Then I'll pick up the guitar again, and resume my español; start reading more books and searching out those indie films that Cineplex doesn't care about; return to my desk to start three more stories and plan out a few months of Thoughts. And six months from now, there will probably be another one of this crisis diaries when everything has started to gather dust again and time and energy grow elusive as they look to hibernate for the winter - just in time for me to start thinking about my 2018 Resolutions.