Today is July 11 and by the weird backwards American calendar, that means it's 7/11. This has been adopted by the store chain as a day to give away free small slurpees. If you're not taking advantage of this outrageous deal, you're not a smart person. Or have diabetes.
So go out and heed the summer! Get that delicious sugar ice and stain your tongue for the day! Huzzah!
Also, Happy Second Anniversary to my wife. I told you, people don't forget birthdays because there is cake. I won't forget our anniversary because there's slurpees. (Obviously she married me for my brain[freeze]).