I figured Canada's 150th was as poignant a time as ever to write something eloquent and meaningful about this country I call home. So I thought and thought and thought some more and here we are on America Day and I'm ready to wow you with... puns.
So enjoy a few puns about Canada.
It's a shame Metric has to tour the US as Imperial, but that's Trump's America for you.
As a politically correct nation, Trudeau wants us to now call Manitoba, Personitoba.
The Personitoba provincial cribbage tournament for pirates would be called "Winnipeg, Lose-a-peg." From high seas to high stakes.
It's criminal more people haven't written about feared Canadian pirate Long Johns Silver.
Personitoba isn't the only one -- to increase tourism they have decided to rename themselves Newfoundland and Labradoodle.
Following in Labradoodle's footsteps, Medicine Hat will be trying to attract a younger demographic by renaming themselves Sorting Hat.
I was shocked when I wasn't offered dessert in a Nanaimo bar.
Since the discontinuation of the penny, Sudbury city councillors are thinking ahead and have begun plans to retrofit the Big Nickel as the Big Debit Card.
I had hoped to spend my thirtieth birthday in the nation's capital but have recently heard a lot of complaints about the clowns in Ottawa.
I'd love Saskatchewan if it weren't for the potato chip selection - they only have plains.
Finally, not really a pun, but I think it would be cool if Japan and Canada amalgamated as Japanada. And then annexed Alaska and became Japanadaska. No, that's too far.
Well, looks like it's back to my day job, thank goodness I didn't quit.